…ME…

Salam..

It’s been long overdue, but here it is, the latest update.. Hehe.. Only, it is not really an update, it’s more of an announcement..

I’m moving!

Not moving houses or anything, though in a way, it is. I’m moving my virtual house (read = my blog) to a new location.. Hehe.. And I’ve chosen Blogger!

=)

Anyway, sorry for my lack of updates, after all, I did finish my exams last week, but I did have a reason. I’m revamping the ‘other’ blog for easier/cleaner/more habitable dwelling.

Actually, this ‘other’ blog has been up (although not running) for a few months already. I’m just waiting for the right time to move. So I bid my time, and here it is :

HEARTS IN TWO

The address is : www.missirina.blogspot.com

Come visit, OK!!

See you guys soon.. I wanna know your reactions..
=)

Thanks for reading! It’s been great, and I hope this will continue to my new home. Daa..
 

Salam..

Today is the eighth day of raya, so how’s your Aidilfitri so far? Hehe.. Mine is okay, although not that ‘meriah’ for some reasons including my looming final exams and not-going-back-to-kampung days. Actually the latter is not quite true. True enough, to some extent, as I did go back to LC (LC stands for Lubok China in N9) and visits my Dad’s side of relatives.

Maybe I had never disclose to anyone about this, but my Dad is actually the youngest of his siblings. So, you can imagine my mortification when finding out I already have a "cucu saudara" when I was 11 years old (by the way, the so-called cucu saudara of mine is of the same age of me), many ( and a lot of ) anak saudara who are 2 times my age, and I’m sure by this time, I already have a "cicit saudara" somewhere.

So you see, I’m not quite sure how to address myself or my relative. Do I refer to myself as "mak cik" to my nephew/niece who is already retired/sporting a grandchild of their own, or in my Mom’s case, address "mak saudara" to a lecturer at her former faculty who is younger than she is?

Ugh, I’m already confused now..

Never mind that, Hilman, in his last comment asks me to post a delight-filled-raya moments. So here it is, although there’s not much photos, as I haven’t got a new camera yet. Haha.. Sorry eyh, my friend.

On to the pics,

1) My "baju raya" color.. Hehe.. A bit bright, me thinks so, but for the sake of raya, anything goes!

     PS - Don’t mind the wrinkles. It’s just after washing.. Hehe..

2) While thinking about what to include in this update, suddenly my eyes catch this somewhat-organizer-like paper that I did a few days ago as a reminder. A reminder to what? Well, my exams of course!

Here, take a peek..

Sorry if it’s not quite clear. Basically the red figures are the dates, and the black one with yellowish highlighter is the countdown. Right now, I’m down to 9.. 9 DAYS TO THE FIRST PAPER!!

Ugh, I’m hyperventilating now..

…

…

Hee.. Sorry, got sidetracked just now. Hee.. Anyway, I’ll be having 2 papers on the first day.. Both are quite tough –> Separation Process and Transport Phenomena.

3) The stacks of files containing my notes, tutorials, past-years etc… In case you’re wondering, at the bottom, peeking outside is a Gempak mag.. Hehe.. Yes, I still read them! Hehe..

4) Lastly, a collage I made just now.. These are the people who wished me Selamat Hari Raya, be it through Friendster, email or SMS.. THANKS guys!! And as I’m in quite a hurry, if there’s someone left out, do forgive me! I’ll try to do a better job after this. That being said, love y’all..

Can click at the pic to see a larger picture. It’s a pop-up link..

=)

Just a tinny little tidbit, the pictures are from Friendster user pic. So, that’s why theres Ichigo (Bleach), Chad (Michael Murray), a monkey, a bouquet of flowers, Hilman’s Memory-Lane-depictions, and drawings inside the pic..  (AN UPDATE : Changed it already, so Hilman, Iena, Abid, Syafa, miss teddy n Azira’s faces are now included.. =p)

I’ll try to update soon, especially about the TAG that Kamal gave. But for now, gotta go face my books again. Wish me luck, yes. Ja ne!!

=)

And, thanks for reading.

Salam..

I’m really, really sorry for not updating.. Things has been busy as usual, but these past few weeks is even more so. Nonetheless, I really would like to thank ALL of you guys who joined the celebration, Kamal, miss teddy, Hilman and not forgetting, azwan.. =) It meant so much to me that you guys took the time in your busy lives to actually wrote about me. Arigatou!! Hehe.. Hopefully our friendship remains forever.

Anyway, I’ve got a lot to tell, just not enough time to post it yet.. Hopefully I’ll be a bit free after my integrated project is done. I’ll add ‘em up after that ait..

Just a bit info, I went to Gebeng a few weeks ago.. Hehe.. Only now she’s updating about this?

Hehe.. Hey, it’s quite a nice trip actually. Sure, the transportation took a loooooooooooooooong time, and the resort is about 5/10 comfort-wise, but compared to what we learn and see, it’s worth the kinks and knots in my backside.. Haha.. I roomed with Wan, Abid and Dilla btw. Watched TV until one  (or is it two) of us fell asleep, then got a rude wake-up call (literally) at 3 am. Someone thinks its funny to play with the phones in the wee hours of the morning, urgh, we woke up to insistent ringing in our ears..

Oh well, they say pictures are worth a thousand words.. Maybe that’s true, but I’ll just let the pictures form the words, cause I’m, well, speechless. Wordless. Candles. Huh? I’m rambling.. Off to the pictures then.. =p

While waiting for the bus..

Still waiting.. (Hannem’s looking bored dy.. Hehe..)

Hehe.. In the bus, its, talk, talk, talk, and talk summore.. Dun have d pic.. But this is the plants that we visit..

This is a CSTR.. We thought that it was a distillation column because of the height, who knew… Hee.. See, there’s still a lot of things that WE don’t know.. =)

Hehe.. I would love to post more, but afraid that Friendster server will broke down on me.. Aih, finally, the last pic : The Biochemical Engineering group with Chemical students showing their ‘white’ teeth to the world…

I’ll try to update soon, k.. And thanks for reading..

CHEESE!!

Salam..

     This post had been looooong overdue, but thanks to ‘certain’ people (read : Hilman & Kamal), who never fail to persistently told me to update, and even alerting me to some ‘sawang’ accumulating in my blog, finally it is out.. Hehe.. Hey, I made a promise, did I not?

     Anyway, back to the topic at hand, what do you think about the title? Or you don’t know what it means? Well, it’s actually a French version of the usual "Happy Birthday". Hehe.. Just come across it in an online dictionary once, and it sticks in my head..

22nd of August, 2007

     The date of my birthday!! Hehe.. The first person to actually wish me was a good friend back then in SMKSS, Shamina, and it’s because she’s 5 minutes early! Hehe.. We were very close back then, and along with Dilla, formed my close knit of best friends.. To my embarressment, I had to ask her who she is, coz as you’ll know already, I’ve lost my phone.. Maaf, Sham!! =)

     Then, Ain SMSes me her message.. Walaa, so terharu maa.. Ya la, we have somehow lost contact after my 2nd year in uni, and our contacts were limited in Friendster even though she lives in Kajang. Then, the ‘unfortunate’ thing happen, and yep, again, I had to ask her who she is. *sob* I didn’t lose your number on purpose, promise!! But, it was nice (and enlightening too.. Why? Coz you ask me about what I wanna be, and that provoked me to think, and think, and… LOL) to talk to you again.

     This was followed by swarms of greetings & birthday wishes from my bestfriends; Wan (mucho gracias, dear friend!! Hehe.. Both of us mcm ada jodoh. First in Semashur, then met in Genting of all places for that camp, accepted to UKM and Keris Mas, then in the same Faculty taking the same course.. =p), Vijay (my PKN friend who remains a loyal friend through everything that happens), Kamal (Haha.. Siap ckp selamat datang ke kelab orang tua lagi! Iskh.. =p), Patt (all of us are struggling for Pheno paper at that time.. Same with me la, Patt.. Hehe..), Mas (a Matriks level mate, a really good friend who means well..), Papik (Lagi sorg yg ckp the authoress dah tua!! Iskh3.. Xpe2, I’m just joining the club. Ahaks..), Mena (thanks Mena!! =)), Abid (Sblm Subuh lagi dia da bgn. Hehe.. Jia you, walaupun paper Pheno dah pun lepas.. Hehe..).

     Got to class that morning, and someone (or many someones) put a card in my bag.. Thanks Wan, Abid, Dilla, Syafa, Patt, Shareen and my Biochem classmates. May this friendship blossoms and let us be friends forever!

     Oh, did I mention we have an exam on that day? Yeah, an exam on my birthday as luck would have it.. Haha.. And guess what, my sandal’s string somehow break.. Thank God that I had a spare shoe in my Mom’s car, so to cut the story short, she came to UKM and before you can say “Broken sandals”, I’m back with a new shoe! Hehe.. Thanks Mom! Then, it’s back to preparing for exam again.. Did my last minute preparation in the library even before my Mom came, but when I came back, there’s a present on the desk..

0.o

Woah, thanks guys, again!! =)

     And there’s a home-made card by Hannem, Zira and da gang slipped together with it.. Not to mention a pile of anime DVDs that I ordered through Nad.. Hehe..

*Sob*

Gumbira rasa hati… Terharu pun ada..

Got through the exam, alive, thank God.. Hehe.. The question and not half bad, it’s mind-boggling! Hehe.. Don’t wanna talk about that anyway, coz if I do, it’s going to be a post full of ranting and angst and …

Get the picture? Good. Hehe.. Moving on.. Got back home, and a card from Vijay is waiting.. *Sob* Thanks Vijii.. Looking forward to seeing you again.. =) Got a message from Cha (walaa.. Miss you SO much!) but only got the chance to reply that night.. Huhu.. So sorry..

*              *              *

A Friend’s Gift

This week has also been a busy week for us. Again, in the midst of preparing for Separation exam, we got 3 tutorials to submit, 1 small project for Numerical Method, a lab, a few substitute classes, and one Integrated Project which until now has not been touched yet.. Argh!! So much to do, so little time. According to  Dr Normah, we all just love to waste time, that’s why we never got any spare time. I don’t agree fully, although what she says has some truth to it.

And that is why, I only got to read this one blog post from Kamal, yesterday. Want to read it? Go here.

Anyway, THANKS Kamal, or according to miss teddy, pak cik!! Hehe.. Jangan marah eyh.. Just kidding.. =)

Nak berebut gak ngan tru, le? Hehe..

By the way, reading your post was like a walk down memory lane. Hehe.. Hm, nampak macam menjauhkan diri dari PRS ek masa tu? Didn’t think of it that way at that time, but as strange as it sound, I joined both actually.. Hehe.. That’s why, some time I couldn’t give my all in PRS, coz I still have a duty as a librarian..

And another reason is that at that time, I’m still trying to adapt to boarding school life, at least socially.. I’m not ashamed to say, that at that stage of my life, I’m not that socially active. In a sense, I have trouble making friends and sometimes I just want to be left alone. And, don’t laugh, but talking to boys sometimes makes me tight-lipped. But, bit by bit, I learn how to communicate with others, and the talking-with-boys thing eased off when I had to be the treasurer, or a term that people tend to like, ceti.. Hehe.. Hounding the boys of the 5 Ehsan, (4E previously) for money (be it for newspaper, monthly fees, dinner, trips and other various things) can sometimes be a real pain, I tell you. But I miss those times, really.. =)

Oh well, what I really wanted to say before, is that I appreciate the celebration you did. May our friendship last forever, k.

Furthermore, for others who sent me their wishes through email, Friendster, Y!M, and not forgetting, Hilman and miss teddybearhijo, thank you, for remembering and for the wish.

*              *             *

Epilogue

I will be having another exam this Monday, so wish me luck! And that evening, our class will head to Kuantan, Pahang for a visit. Hehe.. It’s just a 2 day trip though, but hope that everything will go on smoothly.. =)

Thanks for reading.
Truly,
Irina

PS : Hehe.. Sorry eyh Hilman, didn’t mean to put your name at the bottom.. Can you find the difference between yesterday’s post and this one right now? Hehe.. Actually the first paragraph refers to you and Kamal, if you noticed..

Salam..

For those who studied chemical engineering (or biochemical engineering and ’seangkatan dengannya’) would recognize ‘lag phase’ as the time needed to achieve steady-state. And right now, I’m still in the lag mode.. Haha..

Anyway, please forgive me for my lack of updates.. I’ve been SO busy these few weeks that sometimes I feel glad that I didn’t join chem-e-car as I intended to do. Quoting my fellow group members whose favourite expressions these past few days are "Muntah darah" and "Tercabut mata", I’m sure you guys can imagine how we all feel..

Oh well, it’s not that bad actually.. It’s just that suddenly we were all bombarded with such big load (read = homeworks + labworks + presentation + tutorials) that I ( I said "i" here, coz I dunno how others feel ) needed some time to adjust. Errgh, 2 to 3 tutorials each week added with labs and group assignments make me almost wanna pull my hair and scream………… not! Haha.. Yala, it’s quite frustrating, but I still can keep my cool..

Hehe.. Got a lot to tell, but haven’t got the time to say it in writing and present it to y’all.. Suffice to say that I joined a program last week, 2 workshops consecutively (sp?), appointed group leader twice in a row, won both times and got a pendrive, a watch, 2 shirts, one notebook (obviously a simple notebook, not a laptop, mind you) and certs.. Hehe.. Had a really good time and gain some new friends in the process..

So, until the next time, see ya! Hehe.. Maybe I’ll write some more tomorrow coz I’ve got a lab that runs from 2 pm till 10pm tomorrow.. HUH!! 8 consecutive hours? Yeah, you read right. And today I gotta take my groups’ samples and take their ODs (don’t ask) then dry ‘em up and weight it tomorrow.. Also need to do my simple notes for the discussion and finish the Separation tutorials..

Wish me luck everyone! Got Mid Sem exams starting next week and haven’t prepared, yet! Argh….. Thank God that I still manage to do the tutorials by my own (by my own here meant without copying others A to Z). Am I glad for that! Hehe..

Really gotta go. Thanks for reading!

Salam..

I
remember the first time I posted my blog in Friendsters.. It was an entry about
a song that I really like. “Starry, Starry Night -Vincent” sung by John
Denver.. Funny isn’t it, remembering all the things that seem important to you
at that time, and now feels rather common. But that was about 3 years ago, and
a lot of things happen since then, that changes me (for the better, I hope),
but that is beside the point. What I’m trying to say is that one thing I remember
is someone commented on it, saying how he also liked the song.. At that time, I
never expected anyone to read what I wrote, a lot less, commenting on it, and I
admit that one comment really motivated me, and kept me writing all these
years.. And that really changes my view on this one person.

Do you know who that is?

Hehe.. Just read on, if you
wanna know..

Actually, we have known each
other since Form 4 (although at that time I just know him by face, as we were
in a different class). Then, at that time, we joined PRS (Pembimbing Rakan
Sebaya) and from there on I learned bit by bit about him.

I’ll admit it that I wasn’t that familiar with
him, as at that time I was rather ‘shy’ (hehehehehe) and stick to my own circle
of comfortable friends, even though we all worked together. Then after SPM, we
went our separate ways.

 In matriculation, SMS-ing
becomes my forte, and I started to contact my friends through it. I even got
his number (from who, I don’t quite remember.. ).. But even at that time,
my message comprises more of ‘cute’ messages etc (hehe.. the kinds of messages
where you have to scroll down to read more, and there’s that surprise words or
friendship quote etc..), and he always replied.. Hehe.. You know how when
people didn’t reply when you SMS, and it made you angry? Yeah, that’s what I
feel sometimes, It’s like, argh, tension!!

Aaaannd, back to the story.. Hehe.. Sorry for the
emo-thingy. Then I stopped writing for a few months.. Hehe.. Trying to blog at
college (matriculation, that is) is a nightmare! What with the connection and
all.. Argh..

Fast forward a year, and it’s
time to go to university. Got a message (or was it me who sent that message??)
from him asking about placements.. Guess what, we both got engineering.. Dealing
with bio + chemistry + physics no less.. Hehe..

After that, I started to blog
actively (not that active apparently, judging from my one or two posts every
month or two.. =p) and there’s this pak cik (quoting from miss teddybearhijo)
who always managed to put a smile on my face through his comments, however
depressed I am..

And you know what, I really think that his blog is
a great piece of reading.. Hehe.. Funny, creative and thoughtful. And it is
through our blogs that I really began to know him, more than when we were back
then. Funny, right, knowing someone better through internet than studying
together for 2 years in 2 different classes that is just side by side? Well,
that is the miracle of technology…

But you know what? I’m glad
that I know you, Kamal!! There, the cat’s out of the bucket.. This entry is
dedicated to Ahmad Kamal bin Hassan that was born on the 11^th of
July, 1986, making this year a 21^st birthday for him! So, Happy 21^st
Anniversary! Haha.. Dah tua tuh! =p Keep on living your life the way YOU wanted
it, and jangan lupa, update slalu, kayh! Haha.. =p

PS : This is part of a celebration done for a friend..
Thanks, miss teddybearhijo, for inviting me! =) Go here
for miss teddy’s blog or here
for Hilman’s tribute..

BTW, sorry lambat.. Memancing
idea, tp tak dapat2 inspirasi.. Umpannye abis aje.. Haha.. Akhirnya, thanks to
Hilman’s post that propelled me forward, suddenly ringan je tangan nak menaip..
Cewah..

Salam..

The first week of lectures have come and pass. What can I say? Honestly? I’m relieved that I can start to busy myself again.. Having too much time in my hands means I have *more* time to think about things that usually makes me feel insubstantial and lost.

I’ll be taking six subjects this time around.

1. Process Control - Lecture by Dr. Normah, who in my opinion is a great lecturer.. She managed to hold our (at least myself) attention for three hours straight of lecture. Can you imagine? Sitting still for 3 hours and not nodding off or even escapes to la-la land? Hehe.. But gotta be ready for her class, coz she ask a LOT of questions..
2. Numerical Method - Dr Meor teaches this subject with a lot of patience.. Hehe.. Actually we need to use a bit of Programming in this course, and my programming-savvy side has taken a 2 year vacation…. not! Hehe.. How could it take a vecation, when it was never close to that -savvy- part?! Hehe.. One of the things that I’m really good at, is CTRL+C and hitting the EXEC button.. =p Anyone willing to teach me Matlab??
3. Transport Phenomena II - Pn. Yuliana.. Hehe.. Again, another subject which requires us to prepare earlier.. Even on the first lecture with her, we already have 2 assignments.. Due this Monday, and I haven’t touch it yet! Huhu.. Don’t worry, I’m not lazy.. Just waiting for the right time..
4. Seperation Process - Haven’t started yet, so I don’t know what to expect. OK-OK, I lied.. It started already, but couldn’t concentrate much coz I had to seat at the very back, and the lecturer’s voice just ’sayup2sayup kedengaran’.. Hehe.. Hmm.. Need to upload the notes though..
5. Bioreactor - Yup, this one haven’t started yet.. Really! =)
6. Last but not least, the Lab.. Hehe.. Obviously, we haven’t done any lab yet, so will post later.. =)

Oh well, classes have been good so far. And I hope things will continue on as present. Met with all my uni friends already.. Went out twice in the span of 1 week, and I can *hear* my $$$ liquefy and evaporating into thin air. =) And I did watch Transformers last Thursday, and it’s GREAT! Hehe.. Nah, I didn’t regret it one bit! =)

But I do hope my scholarship will come in soon.. Had a lot of things to pay.. Books, yuran etc..

Hehe.. Thanks for reading, kay.. Wish me luck for the new semester.. =)

PS : The first years did continue the traditions.. What traditions? Well, wearing the full kemeja with pants, and shiny black shoes for the boys and formal wear complete with the nametags for the girls.. Hehe.. Comparing them with the seniors who wear everyday clothes and slippers/sandals, they just, erm, *sparkles* (for lack of other words to use).. Hehe.. We’ll see how long this will last, now, won’t we?

Ja ne!

Salam..

Referring to the title, you can guess what I’m trying to say. Yes! I’m turning a new leaf over my life.. Yes, it has been a bumpy journey, and yes, sometimes I really felt down and grey. But, when I think of it, everyone had felt the same way, in one way or another. Having fights with your friends, breaking-up, somewhat-hostile-relationship with somebody, etc, I could go on and on and on…

And it is just not my way to think that what I’m facing is the worst thing in this world. Somebody somewhere would always be feeling much worst-er than I am, so to lose hope and giving up is just not an option. "If you fell down, and you can’t get back up, you will be left behind." That’s what someone had told me, and I’m sure y’all have heard that, right?!

Anyway, it’s not like I’ll never feel down anymore, it’s just that over time, you’ll learn to accept things the way it is, and move on. I’m just too emotional for my own good sometimes, but now I’m learning that you alone can’t change the world. It’s good enough that you can change things around you that *you* think is wrong, and make it better. And if you can’t do it, don’t beat yourself up too much, be positive that in the end, everything will turn out right coz you’ve tried the best.

But not just accepting things lying down, mind you. If you want something, you’ll have to work for it. If you want to change something, don’t expect it to take just one try to work and sulk when that first try doesn’t change anything, keep on trying.

Oh well, I think I’ve gone round and round on the same matter.. Hehe.. Forgive me. I do get carried away sometimes.

In just two days, my routine of classes and going back-and-forth from home to UKM will start  again. This time, I’m staying at home. =)

Haha.. I can already see you guys rolling your eyes. =p So what! I can save a LOT of my scholarship, you know. Only RM600+ for my fees per semester, and I can save almost RM1200 on college fees alone. That’s almost 1/6 of my yearly scholarship.. Hehe.. Talking about that, when is it coming eyh?? =)

Oooookay.. Moving on to other things. What did you guys do during the holidays? Me? Nothing much. Trying to adhere to a tight budget, so that kinda restrict my movements these few weeks.. Gotta see Cha during the first week.. Seen some movies, buy some things, make-up, giggle, talk, giggle, eat (eyh, how come when we eat it will always stretch for more than 2 hours?? haha..) and walk till my feet literally hurt. Eheh.. We watched Number 23 btw. Here’s the poster:

Then, had some movie marathons with Dilla (walaa.. Miss you lah, girl.. When are we going out again?). Three times actually (the marathons, that is). Eat, talk, buy stuff, talk, walk, eat again, sms-ing, buy wallet, eat…….. Movies we’ve seen :

Spiderman 3 : Ok-lah.. But didn’t live up to the expectations as the first and the second one did.. I can still remember the Spidey-stopping-the-train-scene till this day. Man, that’s one intense moment. =p

Zombi Kampung Pisang : Ehehe, Dilla, it’s so not your fault. It’s totally mine! Hehe.. I didn’t want to see the horror movie, so I pull a ‘Puss-in-Boots’ eyes and  got my way.. Hehe.. Not really. Erm, what to say eyh? It’s so-so, judge it yourself k.. I’m not going to comment anything.

28 Weeks Later : Quite good actually.. It’s just that movies of horror genre are not really my plate. But all in all, good!

Blades of Glory : Funny! Of course there’s a lot of recycled comedy, but they pull it off convincingly..

Shrek 3 : Yup, the green ogre. Hehe.. I think it’s ok. Though I do catch myself checking my watch again, and again.. Hee.. Even almost nodding off at one point… nah, just kidding. =p

Ocean’s 13 : A star-studded cast, but still, watching it, I felt as if something is missing.. Don’t know what, though. =)

I also see some movies with my parents.. Hehe.. Call it a family night out..

Pirates of the Caribbean : At the World’s End : Too much plot, and subplots, it feels as if everything is in a rush.. Hmm..

Fantastic Four : What can I say, it is a feel good movie. It’s somewhat a family movie Not quite logical, but still entertaining nonetheless.. =) Seeing Silver Surfer is worth the ticket price anyway.. =)

Die Hard 4.0 : Despite what people said, this is quite a decent movie.. It has a plot although not that-believable and it’s not all action.. Add some comedy, and suffice to say, I like it. =p

And I did go to the book exhibition with Wan and Kak Aisyah at PWTC.. Got a few books for almost-nonexistant-discount.. Hmm, weren’t those exhibitions done to promote books and reading culture for Malaysians? There were people complaining about the high prices in the papers.. Hmm, I do think that it’s a bad publicity, but that’s just my view.. Hehe..

Didn’t I mention being the driver for my Mom and Dad in those few last posts? Yeah, it’s usually my Dad. He wanted to train me to drive among the sea of bad drivers that flood the roads nowadays.. Hehe.. Okaylah, I exaggerate, I know.. There are a few bad drivers, of course, but there are also good ones (considerate & patient). You don’t know how much I’ve laugh off angry "PIIIIN! PIIIIN!"s from those speeding daredevils who change lanes as much as Paris-Hilton-induced-headlines in the papers during her prison days! Humph!

Anyway, back to the driving topic, if you guys had seen me in PJ this past few weeks, hehe, yup, that’s where my Dad always wanted to go. JPJ, JPN, Celcom, CIMB Bank, workshop, lunch, market, car insurance etc are done in PJ. Hehe..

PS : Gotta go.. Will add up later.. =)

I didn’t want to be here.

I hate being the one in the middle.

I hate being the one who always had to hold back my tears and show a happy face.

I never wanted to cry myself to sleep.

I didn’t like the fact that the lies didn’t bother me anymore.

I resented the idea of being this way the rest of my life.

I want to go away.

Far away.

Where there won’t be anyone to make me feel worthless.

Empty.

Hurt.

I miss the me back then, the one who was always so carefree.

Happy.

Content.

I never am that anymore.

That book is closed and I’ve thrown away the key.

Why did these things happen?

Why couldn’t things be just the way it was?

When I could still see things childdishly.

Never like this, always so dark, so angry, so distrustful.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Wouldn’t it be so easy, to just go away.

Leave everything behind.

Leave all these layers.

And be myself again.

Only I didn’t know who I am anymore.

I’ve had too many masks.

Different ones for different occasions.

But it all comes down to one thing.

I don’t want to feel like this anymore.

Will it ever end?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dear friends

Help me

I could not believe

That it comes down to this

I love you all

Though sometimes I resent you

Thanks for being there

And thanks for reading.

-Irina

Salam..

It’s been a while.. I know, I know.. I promised to update, but what can I say, my muse ran away and leave me with absolutely zero creativity. Haha.. Anyway, actually I’ve just came back from the faculty. I was involved with the interview-thingie for my department.. Walaa.. I wasn’t prepared or anything, just went into the fray empty-handed. Oh well, at least it’s done now, and I’m glad for the experience. Even though my spoken English was quite rusty, but it’s been fun and not-quite-nerve wrecking-but-certainly-nervousness-reign-supreme.

Some updates.. =)

I did my new IC already, and my licence *again* and fined with RM30 and RM20 each. Argh.. And it’s not even our fault. It’s not like we invited the thief to come in or something like that, and still, the ‘denda’ rules over common sense.. =(

Bought a new phone, for my Dad and myself. Then we went to Celcom to get the new SIM. I still keep the same number, and you could imagine my mortification when everytime someone SMSes or calls me, I had to ask her/him who she/he is. Check this out:

Phone rings. There’s a new message. It’s a touching message about friendship and how "I’ll never forget you" and everything. Then I had to ask,

Me : Thanks 4 d message yada..yada..yada.. My phone got stolen.. yada..yada..yada.. Who’s dis?
Sender : Lorr, deleted my number already what??
Me : No, no.. You see, there’s this guy yada..yada..yada.. and I’ve lost all the numbers in the phone. For real!
Sender : Then how come you still use this number? Yada..yada..
Me : Well, you see, I went to Celcom and yada..yada..
Sender : Aww.. Just say you forget me already, lah..
Me : -_-
Sender : OKla, I’m yada..yada.. We went to school together in yada..yada..

And there goes their version of my primary school/secondary school/national service/matrix, chronicled along with facts such as class name and number of students.

See??

Haha.. Just joking, lah.. This is just a crack on what really happened.. =p

Of course, the response vary among different people. Some VERY understanding ones ask for my well-being and graciously answered my question (I LOVE you guys!!) and for those who just makes my day a little bit brighter by sending me those cheeky messages, thank you SO much!! You never cease to put a smile on my face. Muchos gracias.. =)

Chronicles of the Broken Lock

Piqued your interest already? Hehe.. No, it’s not a new book or anything. Actually, I just wanted to write about what happened that day. First, on that Sunday morning, my Mom woke up and went down to get breakfast started. Opened the lights, and suddenly welcomed by the sight of all the cupboards opened and few things disarrayed on the floor. She went straight to the kitchen, and her suspicions are confirmed, someone had broken the back door and entered our house. She straight away woke my Dad and I, and we all checked the missing things. My phone and my wallet is gone. So’s my Dad’s phone. My old camera was also not at it’s place. (Notice the *old* part??) Thankfully, my Mom’s things are safe coz she put her’s inside a waist pouch and hidden from prying eyes.

Then I remembered, my LAPTOP!! I put it underneath my wallet, so I was afraid that it was taken too. Haa, fortunately, I had the foresight to put it inside the green spongy cover and it looks like, for lack of other words, a pillow. =)

All in all, I’m just glad that we were OK. We weren’t hurt in any way, and for that I’m thankful. Like my Dad said, the greatest gift of all, is life. No matter how bad things are, how penniless you’ve been, or even unfortunate compared to anybody else’s life, never forget, that being ALIVE and staying that way is already a great feat.

=)

I didn’t mean to lecture or anything.. Hehe.. Just bear with me, k..

By the way, the holidays will soon be over.. Hehe.. Though for some who had just (or going to) finish their short sem course, it would just be a beginning to a quite short holiday (but holiday, nonetheless), happy holidays to you. For me, this coming Monday will be the day when my result would come out. Wish me all the best, k.. =)

I’ll try to update as soon as possible. Till then, adios!!

And, thanks for reading..
=)